If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize