Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
