so that wasnt chicken after all
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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