there's paper in my vomit.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
how does that bad decision feel?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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