Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
