That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
