fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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