do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize