yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
