So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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