Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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