I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
