They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
