i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
