remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
