Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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