dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
