This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Two words: nipple clamps
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