i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
