Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He did a backflip because drugs
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