so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
