Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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