u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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