Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
