Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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