$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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