So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
