walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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