So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
