it's like russian roulette but with a penis
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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