well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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