I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
