From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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