YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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