I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
