It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
either way he was missing a nipple.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize