Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it was like eating out sand paper
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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