can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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