i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
