my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
