he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
