I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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