Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
