We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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