Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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