The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
