there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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