My sheets look like a crime scene.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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