What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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