Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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