alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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