WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize