Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize