I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
