Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
