see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The struggles of a small town man whore
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
