did you get engaged???
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
