I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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