My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize