I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
operation have a gay friend backfired
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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