Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I have aggressive nipples.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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