that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize