also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
