She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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