The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
