Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I pour the whiskey from now on
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
