that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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