So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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