She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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